16 April, 2013

I have something to tell you.

 
Hello!  How are you?  Me, I'm good, really good!  You may have noticed (or not but that's ok) that I haven't really been here at my blog this year but I have a reason, so let me tell you why.
... but before I go any further, this blog post contains a discussion of a sensitive nature, and if you are offended by such things, please do not read on.

Well, deep breath in, it's because I'm pregnant!  Yeah, that's right, I said pregnant!  Phew, it feels so good to be actually able to say those words, you see for the last 5 weeks or so - things were iffy, things were on hold, I was even trying not to remember that I was pregnant (don't worry, I will explain).

So let's start with the basics - I am pregnant with my second child, the baby is due in late September and we are totally happy about it - my son Joe says he has a baby in his tummy too!  I spent the first three months with nausea 24/7 - yep, I was sick all the time, miserable and unhappy and I had a 2yo toddler to deal with too - not a fun time but then the morning sickness eased and then came the 'lava lungs' aka heartburn, indigestion etc.
Ok, so then lets get to the tricky bit, the bit where I wished I wasn't pregnant at all.
Well, firstly let's start with my age, I'm 38 and with that age comes almost fear in the medical profession of "there is more risk, more complications - you should have gotten pregnant when you were younger etc etc"  .. my response, well, you can guess that response! 

Anyway, because of my age I had to have extra tests, that's ok, I had them with Joe too so I was expecting them. What I wasn't expecting was the results of the testing to come back with something nasty, it said that the baby was high risk for something awful, something fatal. Ugh. Not good.
They then told me that I could go in & have a test the following week to see if the baby truly was sick but there was a risk of miscarriage. Well, I didn't want to put the baby at risk, I wanted to give it a chance. So we waited. We waited for an extra four weeks to then be able to do another test, a safer test to see if the baby was sick or not.  

Now you see, we were given two options, the first option in finding out early means that if the test was positive then we would have had it terminated & it would have been a standard termination (ultimately, easier on my body).  The second test was safe for the baby but if the test had been positive then the termination would have been harder on my body - meaning that I would have been put into second trimester early labour to deliver the foetus.  Now, before you get all uppity if you are anti-abortion, please remember that this is my life, MY CHOICES.
Sorry to get so testy, it's just that lately there is a lot of abortion protest down here in Tasmania at the moment and it is coming at a time when this may have been a possibility for us and it is NOT an easy decision for anyone involved.   

Anyway, I think I have digressed, what I am saying is that after that long 5weeks of waiting... the testing results came back last week as negative ie... the baby is healthy and this pregnancy is a GO!!  Yay, I am having a baby!