My life right now is pretty boring, I seem to have the same routine day after day. I get stuck in a cycle of normalcy that I can't seem to break it.
I guess it doesn't help that for the past 8 weeks I have had a headcold/virus that I just can't shake, that is probably contributing to my moroseness (if that is an actual word!).
It takes all of my energy to act 'normal', to get up and go when all I want to do is hide in a dark corner or sleep.
It also doesn't help that people around me are struggling too. Too many people have given up, three suicides not directly connected to me but I feel their impact. Then I sit and chat to a fella with a child the same age as mine and he tells me about how he is planning life after his death but he isn't giving up (like the rest), he is fighting, he isn't letting his cancer beat him.
I'm fighting for him too, I'm trying to be positive and helpful (without being too helpful) and just generally normal. Yes, that word again...normal. I think when someone finds out that somebody has cancer that things change for them but I think that the person with the dreaded C, needs normalcy. So yes, I'm cheering him on from the sidelines.
Depressed yet? Sorry.
I have managed to knit some stuff. I'm halfway through a dress for Laney and I've started reading a book that is actually quite interesting and I've learnt a lot from just the first chapter! Have you ever delayed reading a book that you thought would be a drag but in fact turned out to be the opposite too?!
Also, it was my sister in-laws birthday recently so I bought her a gift voucher from Etsy so she could choose anything from any store and she ended up getting one of these DIY kits. I mean...wow! I didn't even know such things existed and now she says she is hooked and I can see why, they look so ace!
So come on, talk to me.
Are you still there? What have you been doing? What's for dinner? Do you have a book that you are reading? Do you have anything to say?